Beroepsvrou vs tuisteskepper

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Vroeër vanjaar het die Britse skrywer en aktivis Alena Kate Pettitt opslae in die media gemaak toe sy geproklameer het dat sy haar wil “onderwerp aan haar man en hom bederf asof dit 1959 is.”  Alena is ’n prominente figuur in die #tradwife-beweging. Die term het sy ontstaan uit die woorde “tradisionele vrou”(traditional wife). En die #tradwives-beweging is ’n groep vroue wat hulle beywer vir ultra-tradisionele geslagsrolle.

Dit blyk dat midde in die chaotiese moderne era waar vroue aangemoedig word om “sterk en onafhanklik” te wees, daar ’n teenpool aan die ontstaan is. Is dit so vergesog om ’n goeie huisvrou en ’n goeie moeder te wil wees?

’n Artikel, deur Constance Vilanova, wat sê dié beweging verskuil ’n broeiplek vir verregse aktiviste het in die afgelope maand op die Franse nuuswebblad, Télérama, verskyn.

Alena sê egter dat sy verstaan feministe is juis ten gunste van keuse, dat vrouens behoort te kies watse leefstyl en beroep hulle wil volg. Waarom is hulle dan so ontsteld is dat party vrouens kies om ’n tradisionele leefwyse te volg, verstaan sy nie. Boonop blyk dit uit die getuienis van talle vroue wat Alena ondersteun dat hulle leefstyl keuse eers ná hulle vir ’n tyd lank beroepsvroue was, gekom het. Dit wil daarom voorkom of hulle altwee wêrelde beleef en ’n nugter besluit gemaak het om tuisteskeppers te word eerder as beroepsvroue. Alena verduidelik dat haar ma ’n enkelouer was en dat huishoudelike take vir haar ’n groot las was, omdat sy voltyds gewerk het.

Sy meen dat vroue wat deel uitmaak van die #tradwife-beweging besef dat die bevrediging wat ’n beroep vir ’n vrou beteken nie kan opweeg teen die bevrediging wat ’n gelukkige en gesonde gesin beteken nie. “In die afgelope paar dekades het die media amper uitsluitlik die ambisies van vroue ondersteun wat kies om buite die huis te werk en hulle het die werk wat in die huis gedoen word voorgestel as vervelig/spanningsvol en dat dit daarom nie ons tyd werd is nie.”

Alena sê dat daar eintlik deesdae nie meer rolmodelle is vir vrouens wat wil huisvrouens wees nie, en dis daarom dat sy en ander vroue van die #tradwife-beweging terug verlang na die 1950s en 1960s, toe dit iets was om te vier wanneer iemand ’n huisvrou was. “Om nie eers te praat van die mooi modes van die tyd nie, ek hou daarvan om vroulik aan te trek soos ’n dame.”

“Te veel fokus word geplaas op die ambisieuse beroepsgedrewe individue, geluk kan nie gevind word in beroepstitels en geld nie,” sê Alena. “Dit word gevind in die huis, met die familie.”

Vir diegene wat sê dat daar ’n verband is tusssen die ekstremistiese regses en die #tradwife-beweging sê sy dat tradisionele huisvroue reeds vir eeue ’n deel van kultuur is, onlosmaaklik gekoppel aan die hartklop van elke geloof, ras en nasie. “Om daarop aanspraak te maak dat dit behoort aan ’n spesifieke ideologie bewys dat jy nie jou navorsing gedoen het nie en dat jy ’n agenda het teen huisvroue.”

“Ek is deel van ’n gemeenskap van vroue wat van ’n groot verskeidenheid van etnisiteite, kulture en geloofsoortuigings – en ons almal lag lekker saam vir hierdie nonsens. Dit is nie rassisties of openlik konserwatief om ’n goeie huisvrou en moeder te wees nie, dit is net ‘common sense’!”

Annemarie Hoogenboezem is `n redaksielid van Die Oraniër.

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